Divorce Process
During the course of my own divorce, I have learned the hard way. When I finally retained my lawyer I was not mentally prepared to deal with the process. My emotions were too high and I was still too vulnerable to many influences such as peoples' good intentions or their ideas of what I should do for myself, for my children and to my spouse. It took me over a year to mentally prepare myself for the divorce process. At this point, I looked at it as a business transaction: This was no longer my husband I was getting a divorce from: I was simply separating a "company." This became a business transaction and I removed as much as possible of the human emotion from it. I made my decisions based on sound business practices: I compromised when I needed to and I stood up for what I firmly believed in when I had to.
I came to see that my wedding was planned with love and emotion, but my divorce needed to be dealt with as a business transaction. It was time to deal with the facts and the facts only. If we allow ourselves to be led by emotions during our divorce process, we become unfocused and easily rattled. When my spouse gets me upset by something he's done or said, I try to communicate with him in a purely professional manner and deal with the facts only. I don't allow myself to get caught up in his entrapment game. You would never know I was conversing with my husband of 14 years.
